When God Breaks Your Theology: Renee’s Journey from Doctrine to Divine Love

Religion to Relationship— When God’s Love Breaks Your Theology.

“I Thought I Knew Until I Knew I Didn’t”  Have you ever been so sure about something—your faith, your beliefs, your identity—only to realize it might not be the whole story?

Renee knows that feeling intimately. In fact, she’s lived it—five times over.

Raised Pentecostal, Renee’s lineage reads like a spiritual tapestry woven through generations of pastors, circuit preachers, and worship leaders. Her father was a pioneer of contemporary Christian music during the Jesus movement. She’s been a Calvary Chapel missionary, trained to reach the unreached, and equipped with decades of theological education.

By all accounts, Renee had the credentials, the heritage, and the head knowledge. But as she puts it, “I thought I knew… until I knew I didn’t.”

When What You Know Isn’t Enough

Many of us cling to certainty. We build belief systems like fortresses, protecting what we’ve always known. But what happens when the Spirit gently nudges at the walls and says, “There’s more”?

For Renee, those nudges came in waves—at least five major moments of “deconstructing and reconstructing” her theology, led not by controversy, although she experienced controversial moments, but by encounters. Real ones. Deep ones.

She recalls times in ministry rooms walking people through trauma healing. “The Father would show up every time and never say one judgy thing, never reveal their sins or shortcomings—always love, always grace and more of it than they can handle.”

These weren’t just emotional experiences. They became the soil for something radical: the revelation of a God far better than she imagined. A God not interested in exposing failure but in revealing identity.

“You Have No Idea Who I Really Am.”  — Divine Love

That’s what God spoke—not just once, but in three separate sessions with three high-level ministry women Renee was ministering to. “You have no idea who I really Am.”

Renee took that to heart. It became her new prayer: Show me who You really are, God.

And then, a seemingly small moment changed everything. A friend invited her to a Facebook group—yes, about tacos—where deep, freeing theological conversations were happening outside the bounds of traditional church boxes. Suddenly, after 30 years of intense study, she was getting freer every day. God, you really are that good! The theology she had guarded was giving way to intimacy. Control was being replaced by wonder. And union with a perfect Trinity—not fear, not performance—was becoming the foundation.

[Editor’s Note: To learn more about Rethinking God with Tacos, click here > FACEBOOK]

From Texas to New England: A Love That Crosses Borders

God sent Renee and her husband from Texas to New England—a place with a vastly different culture. It wasn’t just a geographic shift; it was a call to love people not like them. It was about learning a new language—the language of freedom.

Now, Renee’s focus isn’t on debate or doctrinal defenses. It’s on story. Experience. Connection. She’s realized that theology detached from real encounter often leaves people stuck in fear or shame. But truth, when wrapped in love, frees.

So, What About You?

Renee’s story isn’t just hers—it’s a mirror. It asks each of us: What if the God you thought you knew isn’t the whole story? What if the next layer of freedom is waiting just beyond your current understanding?

Maybe you’ve felt the tension between what you’ve been taught and what your spirit is sensing. Maybe you’ve avoided theological conversations because they’ve only led to arguments, not transformation.

Renee gets that. She’s been there. And now, she’s choosing to retell her story—not to prove a point, but to invite people into a love relationship with the God who is better than we dreamed.

Renee’s journey invites us to ask brave questions, to sit in mystery, and to trust the God who shows up not to shame, but to love.

If you’ve ever wondered if there’s more—she can tell you there is and do not be afraid to begin your own journey from “I thought I knew” to the freedom in the mystery of growing, realizing; “Now I know I didn’t.” 

Let go of certainty. Embrace wonder. Let Christ and His Love lead.

There is so much awe in the wonder! 

About Renee: Renee and her husband, together created Anchor & Key Ministries out of a desire to be a place where the kingdom looks more like family. God began to build a home ministry around them and taught them how to maintain it with a deep love & ability to connect to the heart of the hungry. Those that have longed for close friendship, deeper experiences and to live in the abundant freedom they exhibit, gather in their home and around their table. Passionate about being connectors for the kingdom to those who sometimes don’t always fit into nice clean rows of church. Their desire is to continually build relational structures of discipleship in the churches and places they are invited to infect the Body of Christ with the beautiful tools to love and equip others well. Freedom and true disciples follow close behind.

You can connect with Renee and her husband, Jimmy through Anchor & Key Ministries

Gan TV also recommends the series, Rethinking God With Tacos with host Jason Clark. Catch his programs HERE ⇒ RETHINKING GOD WITH TACOS