Being the black sheep doesn’t mean you’ve lost your way—it might mean you’re finally starting to see it. For many, faith has been packaged into rigid doctrines, sacred checklists, and an unspoken pressure to never ask too many questions. But what if breaking out of that box is actually where the Spirit starts to breathe the deepest? What if being the black sheep isn’t a betrayal of your faith—but the beginning of finding it?
That’s what one woman’s story reminds us.
She calls her journey “Becoming OK with being a black sheep.” It’s not a flashy tagline—it’s a lived reality. After growing up Catholic, navigating Baptist traditions, dabbling in Mennonite expressions, and walking through a charismatic stream filled with casting out demons and spiritual gifts, she still felt like something was missing. “I always loved the Lord,” she shares, “but there was something I couldn’t put my finger on.”
That something turned out to be everything.
✧ The Courage to Rethink Everything
Fifteen years ago, she and her husband started reading books that challenged their understanding of the institutional church and the doctrines they had long accepted without question. The words resonated—but the shift didn’t happen overnight.
“It’s been a journey over the last six years to really cross over into what we now know as the full gospel truth,” she says. A truth not defined by fear, wrath, or separation—but by grace, union, and the unshakeable love of God.
One of the greatest revelations came with realizing that Jesus isn’t just a piece of God’s personality. “Jesus was the perfect representation of His daddy,” she says. “He’s good and only good.”
This shift—seeing God as a Father who is not angry or distant but deeply safe and full of honey-sweet, unconditional love—was like scales falling off her eyes. Scripture, once read as a rulebook, now felt like a living invitation into divine intimacy.
What If I’m Wrong?
But as with any deep spiritual shift, the questions came. And so did the fear.
“What if I’m going down a dangerous path?” she wrestled. What if asking questions is actually rebellion? What if dismantling doctrines meant losing everything she’d built her faith upon?
She didn’t just lose comfort—she lost relationships. She’s been called a heretic. Accused of believing a “distorted gospel” with too much grace and not enough wrath. The cost has been high. But the reward?
Freedom. Peace. Intimacy. Union. Joy.
“I had to take the leap out of it,” she says, “and I did it afraid.”
✧ The Other Side of Deconstruction
Now, she lives in what she calls a place of constant communion—with Jesus, with Abba, with Holy Spirit. “It’s such a place of joy,” she says, “and now I can help others, especially those who still see God as wrathful and judging. That distortion holds so many in bondage, it hinders their walk.”
And if you only had time to hear one sentence from her story?
“Do what it takes to solidify that Jesus is the exact representation of His daddy, and that He is safe, trustworthy, full of unconditional love, and you’re the apple of His eye.”
This isn’t about trading one denomination for another. It’s about awakening to a God who has been better than we were ever taught.
✧ For Those Still in the Wilderness
If you’re in the middle of your own unraveling—questioning everything, aching under the weight of spiritual confusion—she has this to say:
“It’s okay to ask Him all the questions. It’s okay to wrestle and doubt and even agonize over the shedding of doctrines of men. That refining process can be painful and almost leave you feeling overwhelmed and crazy at times. But it won’t always feel like that.”
Eventually, she says, clarity comes. Eventually, your soul will exhale. “You’ll land in a place of being solidly convinced of the truth.”
And if you feel like it’s taken too long? “Take heart… ABBA can make up for lost time—and He doesn’t need years and years to do so.”
✧ Calling all the Black Sheep
So, to all the black sheep, the outliers, the quietly-questioning, the weary souls who love Jesus but can’t stomach the fear-based religion surrounding Him—you’re not crazy.
You’re waking up to the bliss of the true Gospel. To this, I say awake oh sleeper. Arise and shine, Christ is in you and He is safe.
And maybe, just maybe, the leap into unknown grace is the most sacred thing you’ll ever do.
Keep going, friend!
Tanya and her husband David currently live in Tennessee, where she enjoys new found freedom in Christ, her beautiful family and life is good! To connect with Tanya on Facebook, click here
✧ Editor’s Note: About Grace Awakening Network (GAN)
The First 24/7 Grace-Based TV Network
Hundreds of hours of grace-based programming — always 100% free.
As more people walk away from legalistic, performance-based systems of religion and step into the wide-open space of grace-filled living, we knew it was time to build a home for that journey — a space filled with voices of freedom, healing, and hope.
Grace Awakening Network (GAN) was created to be a centralized resource for those awakening to the truth of God’s goodness and the liberty of the mind of Christ.
Whether you’re deep into deconstruction or just beginning to ask questions, GAN offers a pathway forward — filled with grace-saturated teaching, inspiring conversations, and family-friendly content designed to uplift and expand your understanding of who God truly is.
Come explore. Come rest. Come rethink everything in light of Grace.
Welcome to your new spiritual home.
Featured Programs:
- Rethinking God with Tacos – A conversation with host Jason Clark and guest Don Keathley.
🍽 A grace awakening with a side of humor and depth.
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- Perspectives with Catherine Toon: Following God’s Path, Even When Others Disagree | Podcast Episode 274
