Does God Require Obedience? – The answer may surprise you.
As Christian parents we have placed obedience at the center of our parenting focus. Christians have been led to believe that their primary role as a parent is to train their child to obey, in other words, to do what they say.
Where does this idea come from? If you follow the natural train of thought, it will lead you down a rabbit hole of death. Let me explain.
Most Christians believe that they should train their children to obey so that their children learn to obey God. Well it is true that our parenting model becomes the framework through which our children develop their view of God. But if we demand obedience and punish disobedience, our children learn to view God in this way. But is this how God deals with us?
Your mind may go straight to the people of Israel wandering in the desert. It seemed God did demand obedience and punish disobedience. But this was only after the Law was given. Prior to that, God gave them everything they asked for. The Law demands obedience and punishes disobedience. But God himself, does not. Let me explain.
Legalism, the Law and Obedience
Obedience is measured by behavior. Behavior has never been a way to find favor with God. The Law, or Old Covenant, addressed behavior, but, following the Law was never a means of obtaining righteousness. Paul tells us in Romans 3:19 that the Law was given to make us guilty, not righteous. Again in Romans 3:20 he says that no man will be justified by the works of the Law. Galatians 3:10 tells us that the Law brings a curse. And in 2Corinthians 3:6 Paul tells us the Law ultimately leads to death!
This may shock many Christians who have grown up in traditional Christianity which tells us to “do this”, “don’t do that” if you want God to accept you. This is legalism, or trying to gain favor with God through works, behavior, effort. This defines the Old Covenant (the Law) the one that Jesus came to replace.
Under the New Covenant, we are accepted by God simply by believing. In fact, when Jesus was asked what one must do to do the “works of God”, He replied, “to believe in the One Whom He sent”. (Jn 6:29) John 1:12 tells us that whoever believes, He gives the right to become children of God. And if a child, then an heir also, which means we inherit the promises. (Rom 8:17)
It is through believing that we obtain all the promises of God. Jesus, John, Peter, Paul all tell us that we receive everything from God, from salvation to the promises, simply by believing.
So, back to our original question: Does God Require Obedience?
You may be surprised to find out that to require obedience does not produce true obedience, only compliance. If I demand that you obey, then you have no choice. True obedience is given, not coerced by external means. If I threaten you with punishment, you may comply to avoid the punishment, but that is not true obedience, only compliance.
For example, I may obey the speed limit when a policeman is present, in other words, I may that comply to avoid a fine, but that is not obeying the speed limit. If I obey the speed limit, I will comply even when no one is watching.
When we threaten our children with punishment, or coerce them with the promise of a reward, then the resulting cooperation is NOT obedience at all. It is only compliance to gain a reward or avoid punishment.
His Law is Motivated by Love
Learn more at GAN’s Graceful Parenting with Amy Hayes – The Law of Love Ep 5
True obedience is motivated by Love. God knows that obedience cannot be demanded. So the answer is “no”, God does not require obedience. God does, however, desire obedience. He desires that we obey for the same reason that He desired Adam and Eve to obey. He wants to give us good things and protect us from bad things.
God warned Adam and Eve about the tree of the knowledge of good & evil because He knew it would bring death to them. And it did. It’s interesting to note that God did not put Adam and Eve out of the garden to punish them, but to protect them. (Gen 3:22) So God was not punishing disobedience, he was protecting the ones he loved.
For the same reason God desires that we obey him. He desires to lead us into all the good things he has for us, including our destiny, and protect us from things that are not good for us.
So when God tells us not to do something, it isn’t to oppress us, or test us, but to protect us. For example, “do not commit adultery”. God didn’t say this to restrict humans, but to protect them from the obvious consequences of taking another man’s wife. He doesn’t punish us, the act itself has negative consequences built in.
In addition, we tend to think of obedience as a dire thing, an oppressive thing, that obedience means suffering, or giving up things we desire. That is because of our Old Covenant mindset about the kind of obedience that God requires. But obedience to God brings freedom and blessings, not oppression and bondage. Obeying to avoid punishment or even to gain a reward implies enslavement to the one who inflicts the punishment or grants the reward. The obedience that God desires (not requires) is to his voice, not to a list of rules or a moral code. He desires this so he can lead us into all the blessings he has prepared for us.
Training our children to obey to avoid punishment paints a picture of God as one who does the same – punishes disobedience. God becomes a great debt collector in the sky who punishes those who fall short and rewards those who measure up. This is slavery, and the reason that 2 out of 3 children raised under this approach leave the church as young adults. No one wants to be enslaved. Living this way is exhausting and only makes one feel not good enough for God.
But once our children learn to hear His voice, they will realize that God is good and that His plans for them are for good. Then they will eagerly desire to obey God’s voice and will find fulfillment in life, ultimately fulfilling their destiny and purpose on the Earth.
So instead of demanding obedience, teach your children to hear God’s voice.
To learn more about how to get your child to do what you say without question, check out Amy’s video series: Three Simple Steps to Toddler Obedience
Watch more of Amy’s teachings on Grace Awakening Network’s Graceful Parenting with Amy Hayes.
